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New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

/in /by

But quiet resolve will.

The last New Year’s resolution I made was 20+ years ago, and it was to never make another New Year’s resolution. It’s the only one I’ve ever kept.

We do it every year. “I hereby resolve”… blah, blah, blah. A kept resolution is harder to find than a moose in Miami.

97% of people who decide to lose weight actually weigh more 12 months later. All other New Years “resolutions” have just about as much resolve behind them. Let’s change that.

How to actually change something.

1) Don’t “get motivated”. Don’t make resolutions at the end of a weekend motivational seminar.* Most of this stuff is emotion-based and has no lasting power. You’re either committed or you aren’t. I don’t get motivated to brush my teeth. I either do it or I don’t.

2) Run toward something, not away from something. People who want to lose weight rarely lose any. “I want to stop being fat.” That’s running away from being fat.

People who want to live a healthy long life are much more likely to not be fat. “I want to be able to…” That is running toward something.

The gravitational pull of what you are running away from will always suck you back in. Likewise, the gravitational pull of something you are running toward will release you from the pull behind you. You will get where you are going because you are actually going TO something, not AWAY from something. See my post “Get a Second Planet”:

3) Make decisions through the new lens. See yourself and/or your business the way you want it to be when you get there, not where it is, and make decisions AS IF YOU WERE ALREADY THERE.

In the book Shift by Peter Arnell, he tells how he went from being 406 lbs to a maintenance weight of 150 lbs. As soon as he decided to lose the weight, he began to see himself from that moment on as a 150lb. man, and EVERY DECISION HE MADE was as a 150lb. man. He even went out that week and fired some of his clients who he felt were the clients of a 406lb. man.

Don’t “hope” to get there. Peter didn’t wait until he was 150lbs. to begin to make decisions like a 150lb. man. That would be “hoping” to get there, and running away from being fat. The minute he made the decision he was already 150lbs. on the inside.

Be there already inside, and just bring the rest of your external world into alignment with the way you already view the world from inside. Sound like woo-woo crap? It’s not – it’s hard core success strategy, and it’s how every highly successful business person becomes so. They see something they want to make happen, they believe in their core that it is doable, and then they set about making every decision as if it has already happened.

The above three steps are all about intentionality vs. hope. Intention is the key because:

You get what you intend, not what you hope for.

New Year’s Resolutions are almost always too full of “hope”, which is emotion-based and needs a special day to get itself motivated to do anything. Real decisions are usually full of intention and don’t need a special day or audience to be walked out into the open.

BUT – I will say that whatever decision you make, on whatever day you make it, you should indeed declare it to the world and ask everyone around you to support you, not in getting there, but in already being there (please don’t feed me donuts if I’ve declared I’m 150lbs., and don’t entice me with 2 weeks in Cabo the day after I start my new business.)

Don’t get there. Be there. Then bring the outside world into alignment with that clear intention. Hoping, wishing, dreaming, and believing don’t add up to doing.

Go ahead. Make a decision ANY day of the year (including New Year’s Day). But much more importantly, see yourself, your business, and the world around you through the new lens, and make every decision going forward as if you were already there.

Where do you want to be in 2012? Tell the world here, be there inside today, and then let’s go do it on the outside the next 364 days.

You get what you intend, not what you hope for.

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Our Intention – New Zealand

When we started this business four years ago we decided we wanted it to grow up and make money while we’re gone. Today we leave for New Zealand for 3 1/2 weeks while others run the business. We’ll do things like that regularly going forward. We weren’t lucky, just intentional.

What do we usually decide to do? Work hard for 40 years and make some money. So what do we get? 40 years of hard work and SOME money.

We decided to do it differently and USE our business to build our Ideal Lifestyle.

We decided we wanted our business to give us back both time and money, not just money. And we decided we didn’t want it to take 40 years, but only four, so we could have decades to create significance in the world around us; not just after we “retire”.

We decided we wanted our business to give us a day a week, a week a month, and a month a year – 52% of the year to wake up each day and ask the question, “What should I do today?”. We decided that if we did this, we would never have to retire – it would become a non-question. We decided to replace retirement with an Ideal Lifestyle that we could reach long before the age of 65.

And we decided to do it by growing a Mature Business in exactly four years.

Four years ago we decided to celebrate our Business Maturity Date on this date, Friday, February 18, 2011, by having an 8:30am meeting with our staff, have some Mamosas, and leave at 10am to head for New Zealand. When we decided that, we didn’t have any staff, just the beginnings of a business.

Today, four years later, we have 22 people working with us throughout the U.S. UK, and Ireland, and we’ll grow exponentially this year worldwide. All 22 of those have come on in the last 11 months of this four year journey, starting with our cornerstone, Nora A’Bell, who had the courage to join us March 1 of last year.

We couldn’t be more excited about the world class people who will carry the business forward while we’re gone, and over the next few decades as we go international. This isn’t ours anymore. It has grown up and is leaving home. This isn’t even a business anymore, it’s a movement.

Four years ago and over that first year of our business we made a lot of decisions that are now coming into full bloom. We’re not lucky, we’re not even smart. We’re just relentless.

You get what you intend, not what you hope for.

1) Make a decision
2) Put a date on it.
3) Go public.

It’s time to get ready for our Business Maturity Date celebration in an hour with those running our business, then head to the airport. That over-sized bottle of champagne sitting our our dresser for the last few years is going to get a work out at 8:30am this morning.

We decided to Live Well by Doing Good.

What are you deciding?

A Business Maturity Date Really Works

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We bought our tickets to NZ today.

Two years ago, in March of 2009, I wrote this blog http://chuckb.me/xF about how I started my business 3 1/2 years ago in March of 2007. Four years after we started we’ll have a Mature Business, which is what we intended to do.

In March of 2009, I wrote about March of 2007:

“2 years ago this week, March 6, 2007, I started my business…

But something is different. I have a Business Maturity Date…

In 3 years, 11 months, 2 weeks, and 22 ½ hrs. from when I started, I expect to be done building a business that makes money when I’m not around. I’ve got a lot of work to do and the clock is ticking relentlessly, the train is screeching, belching, and going in circles, and at the same time I’ve got little time left already to build this business to maturity.

My Business Maturity Date? Friday, February 18, 2011, at 10am – 1 year 11 months and two weeks from now. At 8:30am on that morning I will have a staff meeting and turn over the business to them to run, leaving the office in good hands, and be out of the office by 10am to pack my bags. At 6:10pm that evening my wife and I will be on a plane to Auckland, New Zealand, her dream vacation, for three weeks of celebration. We land in Auckland at 7:25am Sunday morning. The trip will cost $12,380.”

There were three problems with that blog post nearly two years ago. 1) The plane now leaves at 5:30pm, not 6:10, 2) it lands at 7:05am, not 7:25am, and 3) the trip will cost $12,840, not $12,380.

But other than that we’re on schedule. Our business will be making money while we’re on vacation for three and half weeks in New Zealand and it will be in great hands while we’re gone. In most ways we’re farther ahead than we thought we would be in 2009 when I wrote that blog post.

It shouldn’t be surprising because I’ve said for four years “You get what you intend, not what you hope for.” And for a number of years we’ve been intending to build a business that would make money while we’re on vacation.

We stopped intending to work hard and make money a long time ago because that always gave us exactly what we intended – hard work and SOME money.

Does it change you a little bit even reading this? Imagine what it’s done to me, and what it will do to you when you make the same commitment. It will change you forever.

What are you intending to do?