Posts

2 Words That Will Change Everything About New Year’s Resolutions

/in /by

I hereby resolve… yeah, there’s a better way.

First the bad news on New Year’s resolutions – Only 8% of people who make a New Year’s resolution keep that commitment. Worse yet, if you’re making a dieting resolution, you have a 5% chance of keeping the weight off, but an 83% or higher chance of gaining back more than you lost. Research shows that resolving to lose weight is actually an indicator you are going to GAIN weight!

Now the good news. You get what you intend, not what you hope for. Change can be real and lasting.

The Random Hope Strategy

Most New Year’s resolutions are built on the random hope strategy of life–if I think and feel something, who knows, I might get motivated enough to do something about it. A very few resolutions, 5-8% are built on something very different than random hope–intention. Intention is different than expectation. Intention assumes I’m going to have to work my ass off, but if I do, I’m very likely to get what I am chasing.

Conation

There are two words that describe why 92% of people don’t keep their resolutions and why the 8% do. First, if you really want to keep your resolution, you’ll learn and embrace the word “conation”.

Conation is the most important, least known word you’ll ever learn about success (we use it as a foundation for helping business owners succeed). Conation is

the will to succeed that shows up in single-minded pursuit of a goal,

or, “Get out of my way, I have somewhere I need to be.” Conative people actually don’t have to tell people to get out of their way. You can see the determination in their eyes, and you just step aside.

In the 1970s my Mom was a three pack a day smoker. A doctor told her she had pre-cancerous lesions on her larynx from smoking, so that day she quit and never smoked again. She didn’t need a New Year’s resolution or another week to get her last few smokes in. There was even a full case of Kools in her smoking drawer for another few years before she finally threw it away.

Mom’s actions were classic conation. As soon as she knew what she should do, she did it. No ceremony, no waiting period, no walking on coals, chanting at a vision board, or hypnosis. Conation is defined by this–as soon as we know what we should do, we start doing it. Realizing the need is directly followed by action.

Velleity

Can you see why New Year’s resolutions don’t work? We “resolve” in early December that we need to do something on New Year’s day, while binging on whatever we know we should stop; a sort of extended Mardi Gras that clearly demonstrates we don’t actually want to do what we say we want to do. This brings us to the second word–velleity (vah-lay-ity).

Velleity is the second most important word around being successful and is the direct cause of why 92% of resolutions fail. Velleity is,

the desire, with no intention of doing anything.

Wouldn’t it be nice if…? Someday I’m going to… I sure hope that… – It’s all velleity. We fool ourselves into thinking we actually want change because the emotional desire is so strong–“I really do want it!”. But it’s just emotional desire, with no intention of actually doing anything.

Just Priorities

I can see why Mom was able to be so conative. She once told me, “Chuck, there is no such thing as excuses, there aren’t even reasons, there are only priorities.” Conation is built on deciding that something (losing weight, stopping smoking, being a better husband, etc.) is more important than something else (food, nicotine sedation, being self-absorbed, etc.). It’s all about priorities.

For every well-intentioned resolution to lose weight, stop drinking, call Mom, get sober, be more helpful, control your temper, or finish installing the molding in the kitchen, there are unconscious commitments to keep things exactly the way they are right now. But velleity gives us the cover we need to think we actually want change. The emotional desire to see things differently (velleity) passes for real desire to change something, which results in immediate action (conation).

The Only New Year’s Resolution That Will Actually Change Something

Here it is:

I hereby resolve that going forward, I will never again wait for some future date, including New Year’s Day, to do something I know I should do. I will be conative and decide that anything worth changing, is worth changing as soon as I recognize it, and that any time I want to put off that change, I will remind myself of velleity–the emotional desire, with no intention of doing anything.

Or the short version:

I know I want to change something, because I’m already doing it. Everything else is just velleity/desire.

Remember, there are no such things as excuses or reasons, just priorities. If it’s important enough to change, I will do it now, not later.

Conate!

Be part of the 8% who succeed – resolve to be conative in 2016. It can change your life!

(Pssst – Don’t wait for New Year’s Day to resolve to be conative. Waiting is just velleity.)

Article as seen on Inc.com

New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

/in /by

But quiet resolve will.

The last New Year’s resolution I made was 20+ years ago, and it was to never make another New Year’s resolution. It’s the only one I’ve ever kept.

We do it every year. “I hereby resolve”… blah, blah, blah. A kept resolution is harder to find than a moose in Miami.

97% of people who decide to lose weight actually weigh more 12 months later. All other New Years “resolutions” have just about as much resolve behind them. Let’s change that.

How to actually change something.

1) Don’t “get motivated”. Don’t make resolutions at the end of a weekend motivational seminar.* Most of this stuff is emotion-based and has no lasting power. You’re either committed or you aren’t. I don’t get motivated to brush my teeth. I either do it or I don’t.

2) Run toward something, not away from something. People who want to lose weight rarely lose any. “I want to stop being fat.” That’s running away from being fat.

People who want to live a healthy long life are much more likely to not be fat. “I want to be able to…” That is running toward something.

The gravitational pull of what you are running away from will always suck you back in. Likewise, the gravitational pull of something you are running toward will release you from the pull behind you. You will get where you are going because you are actually going TO something, not AWAY from something. See my post “Get a Second Planet”:

3) Make decisions through the new lens. See yourself and/or your business the way you want it to be when you get there, not where it is, and make decisions AS IF YOU WERE ALREADY THERE.

In the book Shift by Peter Arnell, he tells how he went from being 406 lbs to a maintenance weight of 150 lbs. As soon as he decided to lose the weight, he began to see himself from that moment on as a 150lb. man, and EVERY DECISION HE MADE was as a 150lb. man. He even went out that week and fired some of his clients who he felt were the clients of a 406lb. man.

Don’t “hope” to get there. Peter didn’t wait until he was 150lbs. to begin to make decisions like a 150lb. man. That would be “hoping” to get there, and running away from being fat. The minute he made the decision he was already 150lbs. on the inside.

Be there already inside, and just bring the rest of your external world into alignment with the way you already view the world from inside. Sound like woo-woo crap? It’s not – it’s hard core success strategy, and it’s how every highly successful business person becomes so. They see something they want to make happen, they believe in their core that it is doable, and then they set about making every decision as if it has already happened.

The above three steps are all about intentionality vs. hope. Intention is the key because:

You get what you intend, not what you hope for.

New Year’s Resolutions are almost always too full of “hope”, which is emotion-based and needs a special day to get itself motivated to do anything. Real decisions are usually full of intention and don’t need a special day or audience to be walked out into the open.

BUT – I will say that whatever decision you make, on whatever day you make it, you should indeed declare it to the world and ask everyone around you to support you, not in getting there, but in already being there (please don’t feed me donuts if I’ve declared I’m 150lbs., and don’t entice me with 2 weeks in Cabo the day after I start my new business.)

Don’t get there. Be there. Then bring the outside world into alignment with that clear intention. Hoping, wishing, dreaming, and believing don’t add up to doing.

Go ahead. Make a decision ANY day of the year (including New Year’s Day). But much more importantly, see yourself, your business, and the world around you through the new lens, and make every decision going forward as if you were already there.

Where do you want to be in 2012? Tell the world here, be there inside today, and then let’s go do it on the outside the next 364 days.

You get what you intend, not what you hope for.

/in /by

Our Intention – New Zealand

When we started this business four years ago we decided we wanted it to grow up and make money while we’re gone. Today we leave for New Zealand for 3 1/2 weeks while others run the business. We’ll do things like that regularly going forward. We weren’t lucky, just intentional.

What do we usually decide to do? Work hard for 40 years and make some money. So what do we get? 40 years of hard work and SOME money.

We decided to do it differently and USE our business to build our Ideal Lifestyle.

We decided we wanted our business to give us back both time and money, not just money. And we decided we didn’t want it to take 40 years, but only four, so we could have decades to create significance in the world around us; not just after we “retire”.

We decided we wanted our business to give us a day a week, a week a month, and a month a year – 52% of the year to wake up each day and ask the question, “What should I do today?”. We decided that if we did this, we would never have to retire – it would become a non-question. We decided to replace retirement with an Ideal Lifestyle that we could reach long before the age of 65.

And we decided to do it by growing a Mature Business in exactly four years.

Four years ago we decided to celebrate our Business Maturity Date on this date, Friday, February 18, 2011, by having an 8:30am meeting with our staff, have some Mamosas, and leave at 10am to head for New Zealand. When we decided that, we didn’t have any staff, just the beginnings of a business.

Today, four years later, we have 22 people working with us throughout the U.S. UK, and Ireland, and we’ll grow exponentially this year worldwide. All 22 of those have come on in the last 11 months of this four year journey, starting with our cornerstone, Nora A’Bell, who had the courage to join us March 1 of last year.

We couldn’t be more excited about the world class people who will carry the business forward while we’re gone, and over the next few decades as we go international. This isn’t ours anymore. It has grown up and is leaving home. This isn’t even a business anymore, it’s a movement.

Four years ago and over that first year of our business we made a lot of decisions that are now coming into full bloom. We’re not lucky, we’re not even smart. We’re just relentless.

You get what you intend, not what you hope for.

1) Make a decision
2) Put a date on it.
3) Go public.

It’s time to get ready for our Business Maturity Date celebration in an hour with those running our business, then head to the airport. That over-sized bottle of champagne sitting our our dresser for the last few years is going to get a work out at 8:30am this morning.

We decided to Live Well by Doing Good.

What are you deciding?

Business Owners Should Always Be Normal, But Never Average

/in /by

I think businesses should grow up. I don’t mean “it would be nice if it happened.” I mean we should all, every one of us, expect our businesses to grow up and start giving back to us and to the world around us. We should assume that at some point in the first few years our business would move from survival right through success to significance.

There are many artificial constructs in life that mark various stages of maturity, but the only artificial event we’ve been given in business that tells us we’ve arrived is “selling the business”. The problem is almost no one actually wants to grow a business just to sell it anymore than we want to raise children with the express purpose of never seeing them again.

So we spend decades changing the diapers in our business and continue spending as much time, emotion, and money on our business as we did the day it was born. Why would we so eagerly anticipate the maturity of our children and never expect the same for our business?

If you want a mature business you can enjoy for decades and that makes money while you’re on vacation you might need a new view of business to get there. For years your business has trained you to focus on making money (and other unproductive distractions), and unfortunately when you look at other businesses you see that most of them are focused on making money, too. But these “average” businesses all set a bad example for us.

The point? It’s not normal to have a business that never grows up. It’s clearly average; everybody’s doing it, but it is definitely not normal. I intend for my business to have the minimum basics of maturity (run and make money without me while I’m on vacation and not be a mess when I get back) on February 18, 2011, at 10am, which is four years after I started the business. I believe that’s normal and that any business can get to this minimum level of maturity in 3to5Years from the printing of a business card.

Are you building a business that will depend on you for decades, or give back to you and the world around you for years to come? We get what we intend, not what we hope for. Don’t intend to work hard and just hope your business will grow up. It doesn’t work that way. Intend for your business to grow up so you won’t have to work so hard the rest of your life. Intend to move your business from survival right through success to significance.

Intentionality is everything.

The #1 Indicator of Success in Early Stage Businesses

/in /by

Move Quickly

Very few business owners expect their business to support them right out of the gate. More often than not, the expectation to receive income from outside the business gives the owner a false sense of security and a lack of real intentionality to build a business. We assume it’s supposed to be this way, and if we look around at other business startups and some of the really awful advice we get, we’re told it could be 18-24 months before the business even breaks even. So we take that 18-24 month window and use every bit of it, burning through outside money like there’s no tomorrow, and feeling just fine about it because it’s supposed to be this way.

A great friend of mine and fellow business advisor in Virginia, Eddie Drescher, told me about one of his clients who had one fitness franchise open and was about to open another. The national franchise had told him it would take 12 months or so to be profitable because that’s how long it took them.

As this client was about to open his second center, he told Eddie about this timeline. Eddie immediately challenged him, saying, “Who made that rule?” After talking through it at length, they decided to shoot for profitability in the first three months. Instead the location turned a profit in its first month, and stayed close to break even in the following few months. Rather than burning cash for 12-18 months because he was “supposed” to, he intended to do something much better much sooner, and did so.

Speed of Execution

I believe strongly that the number one indicator of success in an early stage business is not how good your product is, or how smart your marketing is, or your uniqueness, or your funding, or any of those traditional ideas of what makes for success. The number one indicator of success in early stage business is simply speed of execution.

Think of that successful six figure sales person you know, or that business owner who seems to turn everything they touch to gold. Almost certainly they are people who, when they get an idea, move on it immediately. Most of us spend way too much time thinking, researching, and planning. We would be better off getting a very basic plan in place and acting on it, and perfecting it as we go.

It’s the subject of my next book, but for now I can’t encourage you enough to just get moving! Stop thinking about starting up, and if you’ve started up, stop thinking that it’s supposed to last until the end of your cash, then magically switch over to funding itself.

Get intentional about getting your business through startup as quickly as you can. And whatever stage of business you’re in, keep Speed of Execution as one of your top business principles. You’ll make more money in less time.

Wandering and Wondering In Business

/in /by

Are you wandering through your business wondering what it could be like when/if…?

We almost always get something close to what we intend. Most people never think about what they want out of life, so they never figure out what their business should look like to support a life of significance. As a result, most people never accomplish the things that would have made their lives count for so much more. We wander through life wondering how it could be different.

I talk to people all the time who can give me some picture of an idyllic life they find attractive, but being able to verbalize what something might look like some time in the undefined future is much different than intending to achieve it.

Let’s not wander through life wondering what we could have done if….

Bad plans carried out violently many times yield good results. It’s not how good your plan is, but how commited you are to the bad plan you’ve got. What does your ideal lifestyle look like? What impact are you making. WHEN do you want to be there?

What does your business need to look like to support your ideal lifestyle. WHEN will it get there (maturity)?

Clarity brings Hope, and Hope allows us to take measured Risks. Wandering through our business only makes us wonder what it could have been like if…

The Law of Intentionality – it’s no secret.

/in /by

More often than not, we catch what we pursue, not what we envision. Contrary to a commonly held popular narrative, we aren’t successful by just envisioning what we want. There are three legs to the Success Stool, not just one:

1) Vision

Know where you’re going and when you want to be there. Don’t know that? Don’t bother with anything else. If you didn’t know where you were going on vacation and when you wanted to be there, how would you know when to start packing your car and what to put in it? It’s a big duh, I know. Yet we never think to apply the same duh to our business.

Do you know where you’re going in your business (what does it look like at Maturity), and when you want to be there? Of course not. Yet you’re out there every day packing your business car with no idea where you’re going or when you want to be there. Until you know the outcome you are shooting for a few years from now, can describe it in detail, and know exactly when you intend to be there, you’re not building a business, your just making money.

And making money is killing your business. Stop making money and figure out what your business will look like when it’s making money for you. Put a date on when you intend to be there and watch the fireworks begin. Put a time of day on it, too, that will really get the Business Maturity clock ticking in your head. My Business Maturity Date (BMD) is Friday, February 18, 2011, at 10am. What’s yours?

2) Skill development

There isn’t a golfer on the PGA tour that doesn’t know their statistics, which makes it clear what their strengths and weaknesses are so they can train with a purpose. We call them professionals. We all want to be called business professionals, yet most of us don’t have any numbers we follow religiously, and as a result, have no clue what skills we should be developing. We wing it through every business day, putting band-aids on broken legs and wondering why The Tyranny of the Urgent rules our day. If we were truly professionals we would have a plan for professional development and be committed to it. We all want to be the best in our class, until we actually have to practice to get there. Too many of us are just playing air guitar – we’re faking it.

3) Diligence

Diligence is the mature form of discipline. Discipline is the short-term act of preparing for a marathon by following the training schedule. Diligence is the act of running all your life to stay fit. If you develop the art of diligence and not just discipline, you’ll be much more likely to be successful over the long haul and get to your Business Maturity Date.

Discipline can get us to a short-term objective, but diligence will take us all the way to the end. Diligence breeds quiet resolve toward long-term goals. And it is founded in conation – the will to succeed that manifests itself in single-minded pursuit of a goal (John McClintock’s definition in Self-Made in America).

Vision isn’t enough to get us where we want to go. It’s a map. We still have to get on the trail and walk in the right direction.

Having a plan to develop our skills isn’t of any value if you don’t have a “big why” for doing so, and the diligence to develop them for the long haul.

Discipline and diligence aren’t enough. I know plenty of people who are committed to doing the same things every day who have know idea why, and have never thought about where it’s taking them.

We need Vision, Diligence, and a plan for developing the right Skills. Put all three of these together and that is the Law of Intentionality – I know where I’m going, I know what I need to do to get there, and I’m committed to whatever I have to do to make it happen.

You’re much more likely to get somewhere if you put all three of these legs on your business stool.

Why Product Focused Owners End Up on the Treadmill.

/in /by

Last week we tried to give perspective to the idea that being the classic Systems Focused owners are great business builders but aren’t such great business starters. This week we want to see why Product Focused owners start the most businesses, but are the most likely to end up on the treadmill.

There are three basic business owner profiles:

  1. The Market Focused owner
  2. The Systems Focused owner
  3. The Product Focused owner

We’re all a mix of all three, but we all lean heavily on a primary profile for the way we manage and make decisions.

Business owners whose primary profile is Product Focused are passionate about the product or service they provide, but usually not about business itself. They are experts, professionals, craftspeople, and artisans; implementers, producers, doers, and finishers. They like being tactical, on the ground, getting things done, and they take great pride in the product or service they offer.

Passion for their “craft”; their chosen service or product, is what drives them to build their business. Product Focused owners have difficulty giving production over to employees (or even having employees), who, in the craftperson’s opinion, might lower the quality. And customers can get in the way because they want to modify the product or service – “I make a great chair, you ought to buy it.” (as is)

The Product Focused owner can’t see the need to waste time thinking about the future or the past. They act on what needs to be done today. They don’t expend much energy on “strategic” planning or action, which is also as a waste of time that could have gone into today’s production. This is a great asset in getting things done on a day-to-day basis, but doesn’t help set them up for future success.

Selling a Great Product by Random Hope is their default business strategy. The product or service itself is so great that customers will simply flock to my door. This product focus keeps them from taking on board good feedback from customers about how to make it more sellable – this feels like compromise to the Product Focused owner.

Their greatest assets are passion for their product/service, the ability to act quickly, creativity in developing and perfecting their product, finishing each task, and a great focus on tactical day-to-day production. Their challenges include focusing more on their product then their customer, doing too much themselves, seeing employees as lowering quality, “rugged individualism” (not getting input or working as a team), and implementing without thinking.

Most new businesses in the U.S. are started by business owners with a strong Product Focused primary profile. However, that same focus on production keeps them from improving the business or planning for the future, leading to stagnation of the business when it reaches the capacity of the Product Focused owner to produce from their own 168 hours per week.

Their biggest issue is actually ironic – They are so busy making money that they never think about building a business that will make money while they’re on vacation. Until they get tired of being the producer, they will be on the treadmill. The Product Focused owner is most likely to spend 30 years producing and end up with a business that can’t be sold because it never grew up.

If you’re a Product Focused owner, and most of us are, get serious about growing a business that will make money while you’re on vacation. Get the influence of the Market Focus in your business to keep you planning for the future, and the Systems Focus to help you build processes and systems that will help you grow a real business. Just because most small businesses are on the treadmill doesn’t mean they should be.

The only reason we don’t grow a mature business is real simple – we don’t intend to.

Be intentional – grow a business that makes money when you’re not around. You’ll enjoy life a lot more.